Distinctly Less than Brilliant
I took my mother to see the "Glen Miller Orchestra" yesterday. She enjoyed it immensely. I was less impressed. Several issues for me though. First off the sound balance was wrong. The singers (especially the female solos) were virtually inaudible above the sound of the band. Surely they can do a better mixing job than that. Then there was too little space on the stage for the dancers - though they were pretty good - to work properly. The male soloist sounded like a cross between Max Bygraves and Tony Bennet with a sore throat. There was a Vera Lynn section, and I detest Vera Lynn. I think it's the sound of her voice that puts me off, which is not great when you are allegedly singing.
The band, particularly in the first half, wasn't on the top of their game. They weren't very much together and they should have been. That splashing noise was Glenn Miller, spinning in the depths of the ocean somewhere. Let's face it, the repertoire is limited, stylistically pretty much the same, so there's no excuse for poor execution.
The band was not helped by their "leader" who stood out of sight of half the band most of the time. Not that it made any difference because nobody in the band was looking at him anyway. I could just hear the comments of the musical director of the choir I sing with about people who don't pay attention. In between the bits where he was waving his hands about with no clear purpose, the orchestra leader talked to us, introducing the songs and whatnot. Either he was drunk or he had very poorly fitting (just like the costumes) false teeth. He repeatedly addressed the audience as what I think was "Laydiz and journalmen"
However, the worst was yet to come. The band played a rendition of what was allegedly Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue". I say allegedly because it was like no version I have ever heard - including Miller's. The tempi were all over the place (not an uncommon occurrence during the concert), the piano was inaudible and the different sections of the band didn't seem to be able to hear what other sections were doing.
The second half of the concert was an improvement. The group of people along the row from me didn't wait long enough to hear it - they left at the interval, never to be seen again. I don't know what was said to the band during the interval break, but there was a greater focus on the core Miller material and I suspect that helped. The band leader (didn't catch his name, the announcement was muffled) indicated that a standing ovation would be in order and they got it. It would have taken wild horses to get me out of my seat.
Date posted: 31 Dec 2011
Strange Happenings
Not all that strange as things go but still a bit odd for us. The boys and I went away for a few days holiday during half term. I mean actually away somewhere, not just lying around the house or going on day trips. The original plan was to get No. 2 son out of No. 1 son's way while he revised for his AS exams. Except No.1 son only had 1 exam after half term, most of them were before it. So, instead of staying home and revising, he came with us and we took the big tent instead of the little one.
We didn't go far, just to the Isle of Wight. We didn't go luxury, we camped. It was really good. Not only was it not very windy, but the sun shone all week. This has never happened before. Never in the history of the Madwoman camping with the kids has this happened. The longest sunny spell we have had before was 2 days. We always seem to get wind and/or rain when we go away. That's why the tent has a sewn in ground sheet, fewer draghts and less chance of waking up in a puddle. That's the theory. The tent needs a few minor repairs, replacement guy ropes and a coupld of replacement toggles but the biggest need is new tent pegs. We managed to bend almost all of them. The dry weather had made the ground incrediby hard. Once I have counted how many we will need no doubt we will be off to the camping shop to get some more. We are off to North Wales in August. Somehow I doubt we will have the same kind of problem.
Date posted: 12 Jun 2011
Teachers Arithmetic
You know it's getting towards the summer when people start whingeing about the long holidays teachers get. As people start coming back from their cheap off-peak, out of season holidays they took their kids on because they, after all, have a "right" to take their kids away on holiday, even if it is disruptive. Why complain now? Because this is the time of year when some people realise that the free baby sitting service called school isn't available in the summer.
Let's look at a little teaching arithemetic shall we? Teachers are required to teach a certain number of hours in a year. In my case that's 865. Spread out over an academic year of 36 weeks that works out at just on 24 hours per week. That means actual teaching time, when I am in a classroom with other people's children. Generally speaking, every hour taught generates an hour of preparation, and another hour of marking. So every teaching hour gets multiplied by 3. That gives 2595 hours a year teaching and related duties. Now, add to that staff meetings; if it's only an hour per week then that's an extra 36 hours (I doubt it is as little as an hour per week but it'll do as a ball park figure). That gives 2631 hours. Now add on communication with parents, carers, social workers. On a day to day basis that's probably another hour a week - on a quiet week. So another 36 hours gives 2664 hours. Now add formal parents evenings, say 3 per term and 3 hours each (usually 6pm to 9pm but not always) that's another 27 hours, giving 2694. Add to that report writing; a class of 20 kids (and it's usually 30 or more), done properly, can take 2 hours. An average teacher might have to do that for 10 classes over the course of the year. That's another 20 hours, making 2,714. I'm not adding in things like school concerts, trips, sports days, and all the other things teachers do for the "love" of it. Assume then a 40 hour week. To work that number of hours the average teacher would have to work for 67.75 weeks per year. It isn't until a teacher works 60 hour weeks that the number of working weeks drops to just over 45, which gives 7 weeks holiday.
Put it another way, if a teacher is at the top of the pay scale they will be paid 31,552 GBP per year. That is working outside London and not getting extra allowances for additional duties. This gives an hourly pay rate of less than 12 GBP. For somebody who has trained for a minimum of 4 years (degree and teaching qualification), who frequently has a higher degree and who does a lot of professional updating in the course of their work.
Teachers are judged every time they step into a classroom, by 30 very observant pairs of eyes. Those eyes often belong to children of parents who don't value education, who say frequently, and loudly, that teachers have an easy life and are over paid. Those children often seem to think that they have the right to disrupt a class and fail to do their work. There is no hiding place. Teachers can't have "off" days when they aren't quite on top form, because somebody's child will be looking to take advantage of the slightest apparent weakness.
If you are a parent of a child, of any age, ask yourself this; can you make your child do something they don't really want to do (like sit still, read something, write something, leave the mobile alone, don't surf the Internet, don't talk) for an hour? For 6 hours? While your child is in the same room with 30 of his or her friends, who also don't really want to do it?
Still think teachers have an easy life?
Date posted: 16 May 2011
Not quite the relaxing summer I hoped for
That about sums it up. We ended the academic year with the threat of redundancies in our department. This soon turned out to not be a threat but reality. Two of our seven and a half members of teaching staff were made redundant. We all had to re-apply for our jobs and generally justify our existence. I was OK but it was a very stressful time
We started the summer holidays with himself in hospital. A fairly major infection which took a while to sort out kept him in for 10 days. My peaceful few days at home before the school holidays started didn't happen as I was in and out to the hospital, visiting and delivering supplies.
After that, I was working a couple of days every week to get things organised for the new academic year. My mother was here for a week but we didn't do much, which included several things I had meant to do. We have a new kitten (number 2 son's birthday present) which is fun but time-consuming, expecially cleaning up after it or chasing number 2 son to clean up after it.
Our main holiday was spent camping just south of the Lake District at Bolton-le-Sands. It was good, the first three days especially so, as it was warm and sunny and there was no wind! That last point is significant. By the Wednesday of our stay, the wind was getting up a bit. On the Thursday night I got very little sleep because of the noise. Not too worried about the tent falling down, but the noise was awful. Not only was everything flapping about but there was heavy rain as well. Even light rain makes a fair amount of noise on a tent roof. The boys, of course, slept through most of it, even number 2 son who managed to forget to do a BM before he had his bedtime snack and had a hypo about 10 minutes after he'd finished. So we were up quite late while he ate a couple of bowls of breakfast cereal. I woke him up every few hours to check he was actually asleep and not in a coma, but he was fine. The last night of our stay we came back to the tent after a day out and the back had blown in. One of the guys had snapped and the pegs across the back attaching it to the ground were out. Luckily we had some spare pegs so we double pegged the back and tied the guy together and survived the night. Another night without much sleep.
Number 1 son has been working a lot this summer. He has been doing split shifts and zooming back and forth on the train. He had a great time and is enjoying spending some of his income. Of course, it's not much fun for us when he phones at just after 11pm to say he's missed the last train (or it has been cancelled) and he needs to be collected (him and his bike - which is actually my bike). He got his GCSE results this week and they are OK. Not as good as we had hoped, but a lot better than we feared. We did the school supplies shopping this week, he starts 6th form in ten days time.
Number 2 son is just starting his GCSEs this year. It will be a tough couple of years all round because he's not known for doing homework or coursework so it could be a complete nightmare. Almost every negative comment on his reports for the last three years have been for lack of homework, now it's a lot more important. He wants to get better results than Number 1 son. It's possible, but not if he doesn't get his act together. We have still to get his school stuff sorted out, including new shoes which isn't easy, given he's a size 13 already, just like his brother.
At the moment my mother is in hospital having been admitted in the middle of the night by ambulance. Chest pains. It seems not to have been anything serious and she may go home today. I will still need to nip up there (over a 100 miles each way) to make sure she has everything she needs, like food and milk and to see that she's OK. Good timing Mum, I really need to be doing that on a Bank Holiday Weekend when the world and his family will be driving somewhere. I'm not even thinking about the M25 roadworks which took me almost an hour to get through last time I went.
I still have some things I need to sort out before starting back at work properly but they won't take long, I hope. I went in one day this week and did nothing but go to meetings and do student enrolments. I hate meetings!
Maybe next term will be a little less activity packed. I can hope I suppose.
Date posted: 28 Aug 2010
A difficult time
It has been a tough few weeks in the Madwoman's household. Himself's mother died suddenly on Easter Sunday. Basically her heart stopped. A nice way to go for her, but not so much fun for the family, especially for her oldest grandchild who went to see if she was alright and found her. That must have been really hard for him.
So, the funeral was arranged and of course we all went. All four of her children with their partners, all of her nine grandchildren and the older ones took their partners. The funeral was held at the church mother-in-law attended regularly and the minister spoke about how she made such a good contribution to the church community with her husband (who died some time ago) and in her own right. He talked about how their marriage had been a real partnership. He talked also about how important mother-in-law's Christian faith was to her and how she lived a good life. Lots of people got up and talked about how mother-in-law loved her family, her children and grandchildren. How she was a kind and generous person.
She loved her children so much that she only remembered two of the four in her will. Not as in she only left things to those two, but as in she only mentioned those two. There was not a single mention of any grandchildren, except in the case that one of the named children would fail to inherit, nor of her sister (who was so distressed that she was too ill to attend the funeral).Not surprisingly, some people feel rather upset. Himself and I were not surprised to be left out since we never expected anything different, but having those expectations confirmed stung a bit. Not even being mentioned stung a bit more. We, and the other invisible family members, are not to receive even a momento to remember her passing or her existence.
The two offspring who were mentioned have decided to "honour" her memory. Fair enough. Except, I doubt that their children will get exactly what was left to them in the will, so I'm not quite convinced about the honouring bit.
One of the least thrilling experiences of my life was having to explain to my children that their Nana, despite what she said, and despite what was said at the funeral, really didn't care for them very much. It would have been nice not to have had to explain it, but they are Facebook friends with their cousins and some of those cousins were very angry at the way their parents had been treated and said so. Personally I think that anybody can leave their money to anyone or anything they want, it's their money, but obviously a quarter share in something has to be better than a kick in the teeth. I'm glad we didn't have to jump through the hoops that the others did to get included. Mind you, going to watch football with your mother once a week (unless something more interesting comes along) isn't that difficult, especially if you aren't going to be allowed to watch football at home, but I digress.
Betrayal is word that keeps popping into my mind. That woman betrayed everybody, the beneficiaries and the others. What she didn't do was betray her relationship with her long dead spouse, he dominated her right to the end, and she let him.
Date posted: 09 May 2010
Are these people real?
A friend directed me to this article
I know it's aimed at Americans, but really, how daft do you have to be to feed your kids some of the muck they are talking about? I doubt it's just an American problem. Do people not read the writing on the side of the packet? All those years getting decent labelling on packets of processed foods and people don't bother to read them. This article puched so many buttons for me that I don't know where to start.
"Ditch the kids' yogurt and replace it with simple, real, wholesome yogurt not marketed as a "fun" food or to kids."
How about "don't buy any food marketed as being fun for kids". Now, that's a novel idea, letting kids eat real food. I don't see whe people think feeding kids has to be fun or difficult or anything. My kids ate pretty much the same as us right from their first solids. Now No. 1 son eats almost anything and No. 2 son eats most things. They are not picky eaters, and we must have saved hundreds of pounds by not buying special food. If I am not prepared to eat something then I'm certainly not going to offer it to my children.
"Can the instant oatmeal and instead opt for whole oats you can microwave."
They mean porridge. What's wrong with cooking it in a saucepan? It'll taste nicer, the texture will be better, and you won't have to scrape dried-on porridge from inside the microwave either.
"Be picky about the peanut butter you choose and pick the brands with fewer ingredients."
The peanut butter I buy has only one ingredient, peanuts. I don't get putting other things into it. Why would you? I once accidentally bought some American peanut butter. One mouthful and I spat it out, talk about disgusting. What kind of moron puts sugar in peanut butter? No wonder kids are getting fat if they have sugar in everything.
I always used to read the labels on processed food, because I want to know what I am eating. Now, with No. 2 son a type 1 diabetic that has become even more important. Too much food has too much sugar in it. Low fat foods are positively toxic in many cases because of what they put in to replace the flavour and bulk provided by the fat. In terms of processed food I buy bread, soups, some breakfast cereal (the 100% wholemeal sort or porridge), butter, cheese and whole milk greek-style yoghurt, jam and marmalade, some cooked meats like ham and so on and the occasional pack of sausages and cans of soup, tuna, tomato and baked and other processed beans like borlotti beans and chick peas. That's pretty much it. Meat and vegetables are fresh or frozen, and I cook our dinner from scratch almost every night and I know what's in it. There is nothing difficult about this, it doesn't take any longer to cook a dinner for 4 people than to cook one dinner for children and a different dinner for adults and there's a whole lot less washing up. That could be a new slogan "Save the planet - feed your kids real food."
Date posted: 04 Mar 2010
As good a time to start as any
The new year started with a bang in the Madwoman's household. Onfortunately it wasn't celebratory fireworks.
Himself, having been living with a dormant malignant melanoma in his eye for a few years was told that the melanoma had somehow managed to reattach itself to a blood supply and was growing. The only option really was to remove the whole eye and the cancer with it. He was in and out of hospital within 3 days. The surgeon says they got the whole tumour out and there was no evidence that it had spread elsewhere. At the moment we are waiting for an appointment for a prosthetic eye that isn't blank. Himself has to wear an eye patch when he goes out so as to avoid scaring small children and making people feel a bit icky. We are used to it now, but it's going to be Easter before the new "eye" is ready.
All this was going on in late January, some time after the Madwonan's mother fell and cracked her head open on a door. It was on the first day we had really heavy snow round here, but this was an indoor accident. The police had to use their big red key to get in. Luckily the worst damage was to the doors. A few days in hospital and 7 stitches later and mother was returned home, somewhat shaky still, but definitely on the mend. As to how she managed to pass out in the first place, the jury is still out. It wasn't a stroke, that much is certain as they have tested and scanned and poked everything that might tell them. The current theory is that it was a stress reaction, so now she's on tranquilisers and sedatives and whatnot. If nothing else Mum is sleeping better than she was, which has to be a good thing.
On the home front No. 1 son trundled happily through his GCSE mock exams and decided which A levels he wants to do and where he wants to do them. The current selection is Drama, Spanish, French and English with Critical Thinking as the top-up. He is worried that the school won't want him to go back if his results aren't good enough so is now doing some work. The other option was to do Music, but all the slacking off has taken its toll and his Music teacher won't have him until he's at Grade 5 in at least one instrument. Even then she won't be very happy.
No. 2 son did his SATs. On the basis of no visible work and no revision he came 11th out of all the kids in his year in Science and achieved level 7 in Maths. Brat. Feedback from Parent's Evening is that he's bright but lazy and disorganised. No change there then. He has chosen his GCSE subjects now, I dread to think what he is going to do about his coursework.
The Madwoman herself has just moved buildings at the place she works. It's an educational establishment so of course moving offices and classrooms and equipment across from one building to another during term time and half way through the academic year is a brilliant idea (not). I have no idea which moron came up with that plan, but you may be surprised to learn that all did not go according to plan and chaos reigns. It wouldn't be so bad but exactly the same thing happened last academic year.Some people never learn. Oh well, the washing and ironing are still with us, not that I do a great deal of the latter, just look at the ironing basket and think I might get round to it one day, but not today.
Date posted: 28 Feb 2010
Driving Wheels get tired too
All is chaos in the Madwoman's family. First day back at school after a rather unexpected break and nobody is ready. That's no surprise. Getting anything done round here is not unlike kicking a dead whale uphill.
So today we have no 1 son who was, when I asked last night, 'ready for school' who hadn't packed his bag or his clarinet - and he has a lesson today. This evening he asked me to wash and repair his school trousers but has yet to produce them. It's nearly bed time. My bed time!
Number 2 son woke up claiming he felt ill, wasted an hour wandering round claiming to be ill and saying he felt sick, and then went back to bed. If he isn't chased every five minutes from 9pm until 10pm he will sit up. Just telling him to go to bed doesn't get the slightest response. I wonder whether removing his Internet access at 9pm might help.
I just warned both of them that it's time to get ready for bed. Did I get a response, yes they both said "in a minute" and did nothing. Battle has been joined!
Date posted: 11 Jan 2010
Tension Mounts
Will it snow enough for there to be no school again tomorrow? That's the question. My sons are looking out of the window and wishing hard, but I think they will be massively disappointed. Snow is falling, but not a lot, and it's not expected to last for long either. It is noticeably warmer than it was yesterday. Not that it's exactly hot out there, but the snow that we had before is no longer covered by a sheet of ice. This has to be an improvement.
It has been an interesting few days, one way and another, culminating in a quick trip from here to my Mother's house to take her some food. She had a fall at home on Monday and was hospitalised for a few days. Originally they were to keep her there until tomorrow but sent her home on Thursday - to a cold, empty house with limited food supplies. Since she isn't yet well enough to go out by herself to get any food and the pavement outside her house is sheet ice (or was when I was there on Monday, on Tuesday and on Saturday) I had to take her some essentials. She is 89 years old. Many shops in her area aren't doing deliveries because it's too risky, what other option was there but to go shopping and take it up to her? A 200+ mile round trip for some bread, milk, vegetables, fish and toilet paper. Going was fine, coming back was less so. The M2 was down to one lane and I had to drive in the tracks of the car in front as the snow blew horizontally across the road. Not the best journey on the planet, but I survived.
They say this winter will be pretty bad for a while yet with more severe weather in a couple of weeks. Deep joy. I wonder if they will get enough supplies of grit and salt to replenish what they have used this time before they need it again.
Date posted: 10 Jan 2010
If You Are Innocent You Have Nothing To Fear
Oh yes? Yeah right.
That's the argument we get when anybody protests about the growing surveillance that's happening in our society. Standard response "If you are innocent you have nothing to fear". How about "BECAUSE" I am innocent I have plenty to fear? Because if I happen to be coming home late at night on my own the nice protective camera operatives (you know the untrained, unregistered, potential pervert ones) can "keep an eye on me" to make sure I get home safely. Nothing wrong with that? Except that now, they know where I live. Think about that. Pick any person going about their lawful business, causing no trouble for anybody, all innocent and above board and anybody can use the surveillance cameras to find out where they live and, if it's after dark they'll have a pretty good idea whether they person they are watching is going home to an empty house. Then they tell me I have nothing to fear.
What about my kids, and all the other nice innocent little kiddies on their way to school, or to the park to play with their friends? Being watched by some pervert on CCTV, because no harm will come to them will it? Except somebody knows where they live, where they go to school, and where they are right now. I don't know who's watching my kids, my innocent kids, who have nothing to fear.
Right now somebody you don't know is watching somebody you care about, your kids, your mum, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your aunty, your granny. They know where they are and then know who they are with, they know where they have been and they can probably make a guess where they are going. They can watch who goes into your home and who comes out. They can guess when you are alone and when you have company, they can see when you go to bed, they can see when your home is empty. If they watch long enough they can build up a picture of your routine, and they can make sure the CCTV cameras are pointing away from your home when they want them to.
Nothing to fear? I think not.
Date posted: 05 Apr 2009
When is an assault not an assault?
When it's a boy groping a girl's tits in class and then saying "she doesn't mind". The girl looked quite upset but when I spoke to her said she didn't want me to report it as an assault. So I reported it and her being disrupted and her learning harmed by this intrusion on her personal space. When the same boy tried to snatch the report from my hand as I was writing it, and then try to prise my fingers from the card and tell me that I should give him good grades for the lesson (even though he had done no work, failed to follow instructions and disturbed the rest of the class) I wrote that incident report up as an assault.
Do I expect anything to come from this? No.
Why not? Because the boy is from Afghanistan and the whole school bows down to the need to go gently on those kids. So they get away with whatever they feel like doing and think they can continue to do so. One day they will do something outside school and get their head kicked in by some aggrieved boyfriend or husband, who will no doubt be accused of making a racially motivated attack. We are doing these kids no favours by continually making allowances. It's a tough old world outside the school walls and they have to learn how to deal with it without getting slaughtered, and that means a bit more integration and a lot fewer kid gloves.
Date posted: 31 Mar 2009
New Seasons
Yep. Tonight we had our first bbq of the year at home. It will probably be the last one for a while since we used up the last of the charcoal and it'll be Easter likely before the shops have any in. That's what'll replace the Easter eggs on the shelves (the Easter eggs replaced the Christmas stuff) I expect. Then as soon as the BBQ stuff is gone we'll be having Halloween stuff and then Christmas again. These are the new seasons; Easter, BBQ, Halloween, and Christmas!
Date posted: 28 Feb 2009
Christmas Commandments
Erk! Christmas is upon us. If you've been looking at the shops recently it might seem that Christmas has been upon us for weeks. Not in this house! I absolutely refuse to even think about Christmas (other than presents for the family if I happen to see something they would like) until December. I have still got significant birthdays to get through before Christmas, Himself, one of my best friends from school and my mother all have birthdays in December - and not early December either! Today we put the Advent Calendar up and at some point in the future we will get the tree and the decorations down from the loft, but the real festive activities won't really start until the end of term.
Thinking about Christmas and end of term and whatnot I remembered my "Christmas Commandments" it is something I wrote ages ago for the entertainment of my students (mainly male late teens to early twenties in age). It is a performance piece and was delivered as such during the end of term "party".
Christmas Commandments
Hear now the word of the boss, let thee take heed, lest by ignorance thou fallest into error and confusion, and embarrassment and dismay come upon thee, and thy loved ones scorn thee. Listen now, and learn, for these are the commandments, handed down even unto the fourth generation, that the wise may profit whilst the foolish perish.
1. Thou shalt not commence the festivities in a state of sobriety. The season is to be celebrated with frivolity and enjoyment. Be of good cheer and celebrate, even though thy heart is heavy, for is it not so that those of glum countenance and miserable demeanour, and those who do nothing but berate those around them are left alone to ponder the error of their ways?
Indulge thyself in the joys of the season, in the sweetmeats and the beverages associated therewith, even that which is brewed and that which is fermented may be enjoyed. Share your indulgence with those that are near thee, lest they become morose and unbalanced and criticise thee. Be generous I say with the distribution and ingestion of beverages, but mix them not. Take not that which is brewed with that which is fermented, not that of the grape with the of the grain. For so it shall come to pass that the dawning of the next day shall become an abomination unto you, thy dog shall become bald, and only darkness and silence will please thee.
2. Thou shalt honour the cooks, and ply them with beverages and brews, but in moderation only, lest they become forgetful of time and technique, and conflagration and disaster ensue.
3. Thou shalt let no morsel of food be left upon thy plate at the conclusion of dinner, for this is an abomination in the eyes of those who have laboured long in the production thereof. Eat it I say, leave no scrap or morsel, not even that which is called the brussel sprout, though thy stomach is uneasy and revolts within thee, for the wages of waste is washing up even unto the Day after Boxing Day.
4. Thou shalt not cast thy nutshells upon the carpet, nor yet the crumbs of mince pies. Avoid all littering of the floor with the festive debris even that which is repellent unto thee, for, without a doubt, it will wait until thy naked foot is upon it, and bite thee.
5. Thou shalt not ingest the silver sixpence from the festive pudding, nor yet the novelty from that which is named a cracker and yet cracks not, lest the local hospital become thy residence, and thy family and loved ones see thee not for many days.
6. Thou shalt not scavenge upon the carcass of the turkey, nor anything else which may be displayed within the house for lack of space within the cooling places. Neither should thou permit thy cat or thy hound to do so. For this is a sin in the eyes of the cook and thou wilt be berated and condemned for such a thing.
7. Thou shalt not deposit the contents of thy digestive tract upon the carpet, nor upon the bedding, nor upon any item which belongs to thee not. Instead thou shalt make haste to the place which is prepared for such things, and then cleanse and anoint thyself in gratitude that thou hast not found disfavour in the eyes of those who share thy dwelling space. Failure to achieve the sanctum is a grievous sin in the eyes of many, and the fault must be rectified, with much washing, and the anointing of the place with strong smelling liquids, even that which is called "Dettol" and the spraying of that which sweetens the air and removes the taint therefrom. Even though thy stomach is in revolt, and thy head falls from thy shoulders thou must clean up after thyself.
8. Be kind to the elderly, and honour them. Even if their gifts please thee not, be generous with thy thanks. Mock not the handworked items, even though they are abhorrent to thee and of a size unfitting your mature state. Give thanks with a glad face and grimace not in dark corners, nor deride these gifts with your companions, lest the givers take offense. For truly it is said that it is better to give than to receive, and even a thought is counted worthy of gratitude and respect. Remember that age and forgetfulness come to all who survive and the passing of the years is heeded not, nor the ages of the offspring of the nieces and nephews. Neither their growth nor their age is remembered. Remember all ye gathered here that there is an abundance always of places where charitable people may dispose of that which is unwanted and unattractive. Hope always that the next festive season will bring the chariot of great speed and impeccable design such that even thine enemies are set at nought and many stand and gaze at thy coming and going, even those with whom thou wouldst wish to find favour.
9. Eat heartily of the cooked meats, and complain not, nor seek to procure alternative sustenance elsewhere lest thou be condemned to the turkey sandwich, even unto the twelfth day after Christmas.
10. Thou shalt not lurk in hope near unto the Mistletoe, lest they whom you dislike come unto thee and embrace thee and cause blushing and stammering to fall upon thee. Even though there are many nearby who find favour in thine eyes, lurk not. Nor shall thee clasp the mistletoe in thy hand nor attach it to thy person or to thine apparel for such shall make thee an object of scorn and derision. Be warned that such devices are unnecessary in a meeting of true hearts and troublesome to those whose desire is for other activity.
Here endeth the lesson. Mark it well and forget it not, that ye may enjoy the fruits of the season and suffer not the dark despair which is called the "hangover", and that thy spirits shall be uplifted and thy soul refreshed and that thee may be better fitted to return to struggle with the delights of the the assessment and the examination.
Date posted: 30 Nov 2008
Ooops, Sorry guys!
I knew I should have kept my mouth shut! See what I mean about being a jinx?
Date posted: 16 Nov 2008
Come on you Spurs!
Oh wow! I'm a Tottenham Hotspur supporter, I have always been one, when you grow up in Tottenham as I did it kind of goes with the territory. It has been, as they say, a season of two halves. In mid-September (before things got really bad) I was discussing Spurs' awful start to the season with my mother, who is also a Spurs supporter. I said "You watch, they won't win anything until about the end of October and then they won't lose for the rest of the season." Don't you just love being right?
Of course it took a new manager to get it sorted out and it's now too late for them to finish top of the Premiership there are just too many points to make up, but things are heading in the right direction.
I just hope I haven't jinxed them by saying that. I'm a jinx in cup matches, which is why I never watch them. I haven't seen Spurs win a cup match since about 1971. Not because I don't want to watch, but because I know that if I do they will lose, so I deliberately avoid watching them. I have been known to switch channels on TV for 30 seconds to check progress only to see them concede a goal. Some risks aren't worth taking. Spurs can lose (as we have seen) without me, but they never seem to win with me unless I'm actually there. Given ticket prices that's not likely to happen very much.
Date posted: 13 Nov 2008
It's a Parent thing
No. 1 son is late home. He has been on a trip to the Schools Prom at the Royal Albert Hall. He told me he was going to be back at school by 11pm. Then this afternoon he phoned and said that he would be dropped off in the town here and not have to go the extra miles to school. That's good. I checked the times, the concert isn't scheduled to end until 10pm. It is now almost midnight and not a word, though they'd be doing well to leave there at 10pm and get back here by now. He's not answering his phone. So of course, being a parent, I'm getting stressed.
Worst case scenario is that some disaster has befallen the Royal Albert Hall and everbody is dead, but we haven't seen the news so we don't know. Next worse case, some disaster has befallen the coach and everybody is dead and the police haven't got to us yet, so we don't know. Next worse case the coach is broken down and they are stranded miles away, or maybe he's fallen asleep and is now at school on his own wondering where we are and can't phone us because his phone battery had run flat or he's lost his phone.
Of course what's really happened, most likely, is that they are actually almost here and he's asleep and somebody will wake him up just in time for him to phone and say "come and collect me". It's what parents are for isn't it, worrying about what might happen to our kids.
Date posted: 10 Nov 2008
On the subject of elites
In Kent the LEA still operates Grammar Schools. I strongly believe that all children have the right to learn and develop in an atmosphere and at a speed that best suits them and their individual needs. I was banging the gong about individual and flexible learning years ago. If all schools could provide the kind of education that met the academic and development needs of all their pupils then the grammar school argument would have died a death years ago. However, most comprehensive schools don't/can't/won't do that. Academically able children get left out of the equation almost every time.
There's an assumption that bright kids can somehow fend for themselves, that they don't need to be specially catered for in the way that children with learning difficulties need to be specially catered for. That's wrong. All children have special needs, but only some children have them met in a comprehensive education system.
Secondary schools round here are just now having open days for they year 7 intake in the next academic year. The same old arguments about grammar schools and whether they are a bad thing or not are being rehashed. The usual tired old thing about "children shouldn't be classed as failures at 11" gets trotted out. Well sorry, but if I, as a parent, gave my child the impression that they were a failure because they didn't pass the 11+ then it's me who is the failure, not my child. The same is true for those teachers and (even worse) Head Teachers who say that - they should be sacked immediately. The thing about the 11+ is that it is supposed to indicate the children who will do well with a fast-paced academic learning style. Just because a child doesn't do well on the test doesn't make that child a failure, it just means that their learning style is different from that. That's all it means, it doesn't mean that they are stupid, it doesn't mean that they aren't a decent person and it certainly doesn't mean that they are a failure.
Part of the issue of course is envy and the assumption (which is demonstrably not true) that Grammar Schools get more money per child than other schools, the majority of them (for various reasons) seem to get less, though their running expenses (like exam entry fees) are often higher. Another part of the issue is that Grammar Schools are perceived as being the preserve of the middle classes. Maybe there are more middle class kids in Grammar schools than working class kids, but I'm darn sure that more working class kids went to University when everybody had Grammar schools than do so now. That's because with a Grammar School the expectation is that every student, regardless of family background, is there on merit and is capable of going to University if they want to.
Mixed-ability teaching is the in thing at the moment. It used to be all about streaming, now it's about mixed ability. Well, as a teacher, how much easier is it to cater to everybody's needs in a class where you have maybe 25% of the academic ability range compared to a class which covers the whole ability range? The weakest students will often have an aide of some sort or special provision to help them cope. The rest of the group will get attention based on how hard they are finding the work. The strugglers will get more attention than the high flyers. Each level of ability will get their own set of tasks and aims but when the pressure is on for grades the aim isn't to get everybody who can up to an A or an A*, but to make sure nobody falls below a C. That's how they measure schools these days, so of course the midrange learners will take precedence so that the school hits its targets.
One thing that nobody seems to take into account is the social effect of having wide ability ranges in a school. If you look at the social arrangement of a school, things like a House system or the appointment of Form and House and School officials from the student body, who is it gets appointed? In a comprehensive system it's the more academically able kids, that's who. The ones who have a bit of spare capacity, who don't have to spend every hour working just to keep up, the ones who can cope with additional demands. How does that make the rest of their class/house/school feel about themselves? Every day they have to face people who are deemed to be "better" than they are, because they hold positions of trust and responsibility. Take the academically able kids out of the school, remove them from daily view and the other students will take on those roles and responsibilities, and they will do them well and it will do wonders for their confidence and self-belief. The important thing is that they get to have the chance.
People are suspicious of Grammar Schools for all sorts of reasons, they hide their reasons under the "Grammar Schools are Elitist" banner because they don't want too many people asking too many awkward questions and actually comparing Grammar and Comprehensive systems. I went to a pretty good comprehensive school, the needs of the most academically able (and I'm not including myself in that group) were not met in that environment, despite the best efforts of the school. We need to encourage academically able learners from all backgrounds because the country, the economy, needs them. We need doctors and lawyers and teachers and researchers and all sorts of academic skills just as much as we need plumbers and carpenters and builders and checkout operators and road sweepers and people with practical skills.
I say this so many times, here and elsewhere, but it bears repeating "there's nothing wrong with elites".
Date posted: 10 Nov 2008
Ick
The weather here's disgusting. Wet, windy and not very warm. The forcasters have been saying that the wind's gusting up to 70mph, so I'm glad I don't have to go out in it today. Even more glad that I'm not teaching today because this kind of weather makes even the most docile child a little bit wild. It's amazing how much children are affected by the weather, even older children who you might expect to be able to deal with it an carry on as normal.
My main gripe now, (apart from the leaky roof) is that my Japanese Maple tree has lost all of its leaves, about 3 days after they finally turned red! Isn't that just the way? Oh well, it could be worse - at least they aren't lying around on our lawn waiting for me to clear them up - I've got somebody else's leaves!
Date posted: 10 Nov 2008
Well, I'm not very popular
No. 1 son wants to have a friend over this weekend for a sleepover. Initially we said he could but today we remembered that next week he has module exams for Maths, Physics, Chemistry and Biology, so we changed our minds. No. 1 son is already tired and needs to get some rest and do some revision. He isn't happy. It's all a plot to make him unhappy and we are treating him like he's an idiot. Shame. Which is more important - a night spent watching old "Dr Who" episodes or sleeping and revising? He didn't seem very impressed when we told him that if he didn't do well in the exams he would be paying for the re-sit himself. The week after next he's got Spanish and French oral exams as well, so it'll be a long time before he has any friends to sleep over. What wicked parents we are!
Date posted: 06 Nov 2008
A second election thought
What would Martin Luther King make of Barack Obama's success? Would he feel he was judged on the colour of his skin, or on the content of his character?
Date posted: 05 Nov 2008
Welcome the new President?
Oh dear. Congratulations to Senator Obama, or maybe I should say Senator Obama's original backers (whoever they might be - nobody seems to know who they are). Everyody's talking about change and things changing in America. How would that be? They elected Obama not despite his colour but because of it, which I suppose is something (I understand that Obama polled something like 90% of the black vote and a lot of those were first time voters so they registered just so they could vote for Obama) but the majority of Americans (the female 50%+) are still unrepresented in the White House. Somebody on the TV this morning was saying that it's a clear signal to young people that they too can grow up to be President. Not if they are female they can't.
A lot of my American friends are celebrating this result. I don't think they have anything to celebrate. I don't think any of us have anything to celebrate. Except the Wall Street types who seem to think that Obama will be a push-over and they can get back to their sneaky racketeering ways - hence the rise in the FTSE, Dow Jones etc. Except maybe the Russians, who have got an inexperienced adversary in the White House, instead of somebody who probably has at least half a clue what he's up against. Except Al Qaeda who will be getting away with goodness knows what because Obama's committed to re-defining what "job done" in Iraq means.
Senator McCain apologised for losing the election and said it was his fault. It wasn't his fault. It's the current incumbent of the White House's fault the election went to the Democrats. It probably would have done anyway just because of Bush rather than for any merit the candidates may or may not have had. People are likening the election win to the Kennedy years. I think they are deluding themselves. Kennedy might have been good but he wasn't that good, what he had was potential. What Obama has is potential. Let's hope his Presidency doesn't end the same way as Kennedy's.
Date posted: 05 Nov 2008
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